In the Secret Place

I thought this week was going to be hard. I thought I was going to be lonely. I thought I would be sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Boy, was I wrong! I've been super busy, and really it's been a blessing! I've had the chance to hang out with many people, the Auyers are continuing to take care of me, and I've been able to experience the neighborhoods as me and not as Travis' wife. Besides twiddling my thumbs I thought I'd have to opportunity to really sit down and grow deeper with Jesus. Yesterday, after 4 days, I finally got that opportunity. Since Travis left I've been almost afraid to be alone; I've tried to keep myself busy with working out, watching movies, or surfing the web when I am by myself. So when the post office didn't go according to plan and then some lady gave me a nasty look, the only thing I could do is pull over into a parking lot and cry. If you know me, then you know I'm pretty sensitive and when I'm already on the fritz, just a mean look can send me over the edge. I realized at that moment that I hadn't breathed all week! I thought to myself, "I need to find the nearest park!" So I typed it into our borrowed gps and sped off as fast as I could toward the Carmel Rd Park. God knew that I was going to have this break down and would need to get away at that moment because I just so happened to have my bible which I rarely ever carry with me because it's so big. He is so Good! I spent the next 2 hours reading, praying, and worshipping Jesus. While I love the occasions where I can just spend hours with Him, I realized that in order to live life to the full, I need to breathe Him in everyday. I need to allow Him to breathe in me every day too and not just when I have a meltdown and book it to the nearest park. My devotion yesterday (from Oswald Chamber's My Upmost for His Highest) said it best and was perfectly fitting:

Unless in the first waking moment of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, you will work on a wrong level all day; but swing the door wide open and pray to your Father in secret, and every public thing will be stamped with the presence of God.

Not the least bit jealous!

I always told Travis that he was never to go on a missions trip without me. Not necessarily because I'd miss him, mainly because I don't want to miss out. I would tell him that I'd be so jealous. I want to explore and see the world with my husband, doing ministry together outside of the USA. And within the first month of us being here who gets the call that he's heading back to Trinidad? Not me! But what was this feeling inside of me? It wasn't jealousy, it wasn't resentment, it wasn't even sadness...I was happy, excited, and not the least bit envious! From the picture above you might be thinking, "What a jerk, he doesn't take Jess with him to this amazing paradise!?" And as I gaze at this picture while typing I'm beginning to think the same thing...haha, j/k! But in all seriousness, Travis, along with 5 other men aren't going to beach it up all week, they are going to be an encouragement and support system for the Kingdom work that is already being done in the orphanages and on soccer teams. They will team up with Coach Allister, who has a heart for kids without parents, to coach and minister letting these kids know that while they may not have earthly parents anymore, their Heavenly Father loves them and cares for them. While Travis is still on the plane as I type I'm reminded of the week we spent in the summer of '09 meeting these beautiful children who crave physical touch and someone telling them how much they are loved. I miss those kids so much! I miss holding their hands, having them sit on my lap, laughing and making jewelry together, telling them Jesus loves them, singing songs about our Heavenly Father. Ok, so maybe I am a little envious that Travis gets to see some of the kids we met a few years back but knowing God will be glorified every step of the way brings so much joy to my heart. Yeah, I cried a bit when I dropped him off this morning, and yeah, I'll miss him like crazy, but this experience will be life changing and I would never want to take that away from him just because I didn't get to go. I've posted some of my favorite pictures below of the beautiful children of Trinidad. More to come in about a week :)

 

rainy days do not keep these
kids inside! "god made" slide :)

 

            

       

Worth Every Penny

Another move away from my family, another tear shed. Didn't we move back to Indiana from South Carolina to be closer? And only 2 short years later we turn around and move back down south. This move was most definitely the hardest move we have had to make even with the knowledge that what we'll be doing in Charlotte is what we were created for.

When I heard that my family was driving through Charlotte on their way home from Florida I was ecstatic! I may have been a little bummed after finding out it would only be a day trip but even to spend those 30 hours with them was well worth it.

As Travis and I were sound asleep, my dad, Emily, and Zak were driving the 10 hours from Ft. Myers, Florida through Friday night into Saturday morning. We knew they had finally made it at 6 am when the Shak's (who graciously let us housesit for the weekend) dog, Lulu began barking. 6 AM!! I thought to myself, there is no way they will be coherent to do anything tomorrow! or rather later that day! But sure enough around 10 am everyone was up and at 'em sitting around the breakfast table eating rice krispies and catching up. After discussing our day's plans, my family surprised me again by agreeing to visit the US National Whitewater Center here in Charlotte. We had never been so we weren't sure what to expect but we had heard it was awesome. And it was just that! As we arrived we were greeted with a giant man-made river. Rafts with 8-10 people were cascading down while kayaks quickly followed. To the right we saw the giant zip line that soared over the river and to our left was where we were headed for the day: the ropes courses. After purchasing our $15 tickets we began our trek to our destination. Knowing we had an 1 1/2 hours wait ahead of us we hopped in line and began talking about movies. We were relieved and excited when we finally began putting our gear on.

As we walked to where our ropes course began we were stopped short when the end of the line had a sign that read 90 minutes from here. What?! Another 1 1/2 hours! ok, ok, I guess we can keep on chatting :) We were so close when the winds started to pick up. Only one more group of 5 ahead of us and the ropes course was all ours! We were told that the center had a device that detected lightning and when the siren would go off we would have to take off our gear and exit the area. We anxiously waited and prayed the storm would hold off just until we made it through. Our chances were looking good when Zak was hooked in and started across the first obstacle. Emily followed with Dad just behind her.

  

As Travis and I cheered them on we were hoping that we would be next but just as the rope guy called me to go on next the siren blared! NOOOOOOOOOOO! We were so close but yet so far away! Zak, Emily, and Dad had to turn around, we had to take our gear off, and decide whether to wait the storm out or leave the park like everyone else was doing. We decided to wait it out a little bit since the park did not give out refunds. After another hour of running and standing in the rain we reluctantly left the park. It was 7 pm now and I felt like our one day with my family was a complete waste. I felt horrible. But my family was incredibly great sports. My dad gave me a huge hug and told me not to fret. We drove away drenched and exhausted but with great anticipation knowing a pizza and a movie were waiting for us at home.

Looking back I realize that our day was not wasted at all. While we did pay for something we did not get to do, the company and conversation were great. We were forced to spend over 3 hours just talking and I would not change that experience for the world. After my family finally made it to Ohio, my dad texted me and thanked me for a wonderful trip. He said he loved spending time with Travis and me and waiting in line for those 3 1/2 hours was worth every penny. While we know Charlotte is where we're supposed to be for this season in our life it does not take away the fact that I miss my family so very much. I cherish every opportunity I get to see them and spend time with them and I eagerly wait until I see them again.

P.S. To those who were missed this weekend: Mom, Stef, Rich, Terri, Troy, and Carly, we love you dearly and wait with great anticipation to see you all soon!

Is this too good to be true?

I can't stress it enough--this is what Travis was created for! Soccer and ministry, why didn't we see it from the beginning? Why, when Travis was balling at Otterbein, did he not think, "I can do both!"? Why is this soccer ministry thing a new idea for us? Regardless of what roads we took and how we got to this place, the point is: WE ARE HERE! And we are ready (well, I guess, as ready as we're going to be)!

Monday, August 1st, Travis's first day with MAI and the Urban Eagles. Excited and anxious would be an understatement for how we both were feeling that morning. As I drove to drop him off at the office (we're still driving only one car and I'm not going to spend my hours

cooped in a house all day!) my mind was reeling with phrases like, "we've made it, this is what we've been praying and working for for over a year now, I can't believe this is it!" I even thought to myself "we need to pray or something, we need to get down on our knees and praise God for getting us here!" My thoughts were interrupted as Travis said "let's pray." :) The rest of the day I kept myself busy with reading, working out, and cleaning, preparing myself to hear how Travis' day went. "It was amazing, Jess!" He just kept saying... Ok, ok, it's only been a week and of course we're going to be excited so you're probably thinking "it's too good to be true" or "it'll only get worse, it's a job!" But regardless if it is too good to be true or if it's only a job, this first week has been even more confirmation that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. How can we not drop to our knees and thank God for His abundant blessings?!

Tuesday, August 2nd, our first time in the neighborhoods! Grier Heights, primarily an African-American community, is led by 3 guys, 2 of which actually live in the neighborhood in a house owned by a partnering church. Nerves rattled my mind as we pulled into the driveway of Juan and Ben's house--2 guys who play on the men's Charlotte Eagles soccer team and are leaders in the neighborhood. "What is tonight going to look like? How many kids will there be? How will they look at me? Will I have to embarrass myself and actually play soccer? :) ) The night went better than I could have imagined! When we arrived, dinner was already prepared by a mom and her 2 kids from Myers Park United Methodist Church (Grier Heights church partner). As the kids (all boys) began flooding Juan and Ben's backyard we brought chairs out from the shed to place around the tables. We had to call the kids over from playing soccer not just once or twice but quite a few times so we could pray and then eat together. Conversation was rich as we discussed what this next year will be like at school. One boy, DeAndre, couldn't wait for school to begin, "I love school!" The conversation then turned to what they did that day, one boy exclaimed, "A guy came running into my house. He was hiding from the cops because he had punched his girlfriend in the face". Almost all the kids knew about this incident and the way they described what happened made it sound like this was not unusual occurrence. After stomachs were full and plates were thrown away, Mitch (the third leader in the neighborhood) gathered the kids for bible study. He began by asking what the kids wanted to be when they grew up: "An engineer, a comic book artist, (and my favorite) a husband and father". I love how these kids were creative in their thinking! We then discussed how to pursue their dreams, making sure God is number one, and then going down the right avenues that will ultimately lead to those dreams. (i.e. taking and excelling in art and English classes to be a comic book artist).  Soccer was last, but certainly not least, as the kids could not wait to get out on the field and kick the ball! It was an amazing display of Christ's love as goals were scored and hugs and high fives were given all around. Small conversations here and there were taking place amidst running kids and adults and playful banter was given after each play. (Even me, who has no soccer abilities whatsoever, touched the ball a few times!) As the night drew to a close and we put our arms around one another in prayer, I couldn't help but have the biggest smile on my face and joy unspeakable in my heart. Travis and I are so blessed to be able to say this is our job--and it's so much more than a job, it's our new life. We walked away that evening with overflowing peace, and after dropping 3 boys off at their houses we looked at each other and both said, "wow, that was awesome!"