Owen Lazarus's Birth Story

When I woke up on April 4, 2017, I never would’ve thought Owen Lazarus would be joining us that day. Even though I was six days overdue I resolved in my mind that I would eventually have to be induced later that week. He seemed awfully cozy in my belly and the early labor, that was really just a nuisance and exhausting, wasn’t giving any hints. Losing more of my mucus plug and the incessant contractions were a tease since beginning a few weeks prior.

My due date was March 29, and once that came and left us without Owen in our arms we told Travis’s mom, Terri, to come on down from Ohio. It was nice having her here to help with the kids while I rested before the big day.

The morning of the day he came I was so over being pregnant. I really shouldn’t complain. It truly is a blessing, being pregnant and all. But by the end, and especially since I was almost a week late, I was so tired of being uncomfortable and so tired of being tired. I knew nights of interrupted sleep would continue after Owen came but I found solace in knowing I would finally be able to sleep on my stomach and not have to carry 40 extra pounds around my midsection.

The Baby Boy Without a Name (Theo Shepherd's Birth Story)

Remember when I was 38 weeks pregnant and I posted how we still hadn't pinned down a name for our little boy and how we'd better figure it out before we arrived at the hospital because we're not like those people who can just wait to see our son and know his name? Well God has a huge sense of humor and wanted to keep us on our toes because that's exactly what happened. I mean we were driving to the hospital exclaiming to one another, "what's his name?!" We were still mulling over it between contractions. We continued to repeat our options over and over after he was born and nothing sounded right. One of us would say "I think it's ____" and the other would say "but I like ____" and it'd go back and forth like that all the way up until we finally arrived at Theo Shepherd 12 hours after he came into this world!

It all started on Thursday, the 16th. Up until this day Juice Drop's back had favored my right side, which according to spinningbabies.com is not an optimal birthing position. I should know because Anna was not in the optimal birthing position and I didn't want to have another labor and delivery like hers! He was on his way to giving me another back labor so all week I had been doing exercises to help him flip. The evening of the 16th we went to a friend's art show fundraiser. While there I started having contractions pretty frequently. Nothing too consistent yet and no pain but I knew they were different than regular braxton hicks. He also felt different. I felt his back on my left side! We walked around the show, admiring all the beautiful art, talking to friends, and every now and then I could feel a contraction come on, and every time I thought this could be the start of something. As we left I told Travis what was going on and he insisted that the baby stay inside of me until we come up with a name. I said, "yeah, ok, I'll let baby boy know". I got through the night still having contractions but again no pain and they were about 10 minutes apart. The next day I had my midwife appointment. I was hoping she'd confirm that he was in the right position and I was also hoping she'd say I was in the early stages of labor because I was still having contractions. Well double bonus, Juice Drop was in the optimal birthing position and I was dilated 3 cm! Being the on-call midwife she said she'd be surprised if she didn't see me back that weekend! Woo HOO! We started letting family and friends who were on standby to watch Anna know things could happen pretty quickly since my contractions were picking up speed after I got home. (Side note: we soon discovered that this would be the worst weekend to have a baby. Travis' mom who was planning on coming down as soon as we told her I was in labor said she couldn't arrive until Sunday--it was Friday. Our friend who lives in our neighborhood who was on standby for a middle-of-the-night trip to the hospital was out of town. Thankfully our dear friend Susan offered to watch Anna for most of the weekend but was unavailable for a few hours on Saturday, along with everyone else! We finally found a family we were just getting to know (so Anna didn't know them) to watch her for those few hours--we were making phone calls just an hour after Theo came and thankfully was able to find this gracious family! We were starting to realize the joys and challenges of having more than one child!)

Later that evening, on the 17th, my contractions started to get more frequent, 5-7 minutes apart. I decided I didn't want to make dinner so we went out for pizza. The whole evening I caught myself staring at Anna. I just knew this was going to be our last night as a family of three. I tried to cherish every moment with her that night. As we went through her bedtime routine we made sure to take pictures and video of her kissing my tummy and talking to her baby brother. We let her know how proud of her we are and how excited we are for her to be a big sister. I continued counting contractions and they got to be 3-5 minutes apart but still no pain. I asked my friend of five children her advice and she said she'd call the midwife if she were me because if she would've waited until her contractions were painful she'd have had 2 of her 5 kids at home! Well I definitely didn't want to have an unplanned home birth, nor did Travis want to deliver our baby so I called my midwife. She told me to come on in! After Susan arrived 15 minutes later we were off to the hospital, still without a name for our son.

After being admitted and getting settled into our room, my midwife checked me. I was hoping she'd say I had progressed to at least 6 cm...but I was barely 4. Well, shoot. I was afraid she was going to send me back home since my contractions didn't hurt either but instead she told me to walk around and try to get something started. I walked for a bit, we put on the movie "Brave" to try and pass the time, and I told Travis he might as well get some sleep since I knew we'd be there for a while and at that time I didn't need him. Around midnight I finally started feeling the contractions. They still weren't too painful. A nurse came to check shortly after and told me I was 9 cm dilated!! We got so excited! Only one more cm to go and my contractions weren't too bad! ... However, my bubble was soon deflated because my midwife checked me just 5 minutes later and she said I was closer to 7. Well shoot (again). She decided to break my water (which I still don't understand why since I was progressing fairly well and my contractions weren't terrible so why couldn't we just keep it that way because as soon as my water broke all hell broke lose!) But seriously, it was like night and day how different my contractions became. And I wasn't ready for them. I figured since he was in the optimal birthing position the pain was going to be more manageable than the contractions I had with Anna. I was wrong. It was difficult for me to focus, relax, and breath like I needed to, and they were coming so fast and strong that some weren't even a minute apart. I didn't even have time to rest. Unfortunately during this labor I didn't want anyone to touch me. With Anna's I needed Travis to push his fist into my back with every contraction and hold my hand with his other. This time Travis felt helpless. At one point I told Travis I didn't think I could make it to 10 cm without relief. I felt so exhausted and I couldn't imagine having to go through another contraction. After slapping me and yelling "get your act together!"--no just kidding ;) he told me I could do this, I was so close, and encouraged me to breath correctly. Up to that point I wasn't breathing how I had learned, and after he reminded me of this it was like a totally different labor. The pain definitely didn't go away but it was more manageable.

Finally, a little before 7:30 am, I felt pressure and asked the nurse to check me. She told me I had a little bit of cervix left but I could try to push through it. Hallelujah! I got myself into the position I wanted to push and within 3 contractions we met our baby boy! He was out and on my chest by 7:44 with me exclaiming, "I love him so much!" and he still without a name. I was hoping as soon as I saw him I would just know his name. However, that didn't happen. And it didn't happen for Travis either.

 

 

We decided to give ourselves a deadline. By 7 pm that evening we needed to decide on a name. So for the next several hours we repeated our options. We had two names we were mulling over and both had different middle names to go along with them. We would stare down at him and say "are you a _____? or a ______?" We would switch up the first names with the middle names and see if those worked too. And then right before 7 o'clock something clicked. We decided on the name we originally had chosen for him all along (since before I was pregnant) with the middle name that Travis thought of just a few weeks before. It wasn't like we hadn't tried these two names together before but in that moment it was like "Yes, this is it! This is his name!" We finally had a name for our precious baby boy: Theo Shepherd. The name just fit him perfectly. He even looks like a Theo Shepherd. The meaning of names means a lot to us and we pray that as he grows his name will become more than just a title, it'll become who he is in Christ. Theo, a divine gift--that he is. Shepherd, a guide and protector--our prayer is that he is a guide and protector to all those around him and he will lead the lost to Jesus just as Jesus, our ultimate Shepherd, leads us to our Heavenly Father.

It's been almost three months since Theo entered the world. Every day I fall more and more in love with this sweet boy. His contagious smile, his precious coos, his sweet smell, I can't get over him. His personality is starting to shine through and I'm realizing the name we picked for him is just perfect.

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I was on my way to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning. Contractions were increasing in pain and in duration. I thought this was for real.

A year ago today I was sent home because I was only dilated 2 cm and they said come back when you're at 4 cm. Oh, ok, so am I the one to check that? They recanted and said come back when you can't walk or talk through your contractions. Ok, much easier to gage!

A year ago today Travis and I walked my neighborhood up and down for an hour until I was bending over during my 5 minutes apart contractions. During our time back at home this was also when I realized the only relief to my pain was a fist lodged into my lower back. Back labor reared its ugly head.

A year ago today I went back to the hospital after only a few hours of being away. I said this is it and I'm not going back home! They said fine. They hooked me up to an ultrasound monitor and I had to wait for a labor and delivery room for 3 hours!

A year ago today my sister and my mother-in-law joined us. My sister took pictures throughout labor and delivery, lodged her fist in my back and held my hand when Travis needed a break, and my mother-in-law was very supportive during the pushing (but that didn't come until the next day).

A year ago today a popsicle made me vomit. Thank God for the IV! Otherwise I would've be dehydrated. Ain't nobody got time for that when you're trying to push out a baby!

A year ago today I wasn't progressing from 7 cm to 10 cm quick enough. I spent 7 hours in transition (the worst of labor) and it was about half way through those 7 hours when they broke my water. Then the pain really came. My body was pushing for itself but I still had to wait another 2 hours before I reached 10 cm and they allowed me to push.

A year ago today, right before midnight, I realized our baby girl was going to share a birthday with me. She had an entire day to come, an entire day we were ready for her, an entire I was ready for her, an entire day I was in labor, but God decided to wait until my birthday to give me the best gift, our precious, adorable, beautiful, silly, playful, lovable, sweet Anna Jubilee.

Happy Birthday Eve, Anna Jubilee! Mommy and Daddy love you more than you'll ever know. Having you on my birthday was the best gift I could've ever received and this day will always be a special one. It is an honor to share this day with you, my Joy.

Anna Jubilee's Birth Story

If you would've told me I'd have to endure that much pain I don't know if I would've gone through with it. I would have begged for an epidural long before it was too late. Because, you see, when it comes to risk, pain, and anything where I know I'll get hurt, I'm a baby. Truly I am.

On the other hand, I'm also very stubborn and strong willed. When I have it in my mind to do something (or not do something), I do it (or not), no matter what. No one is going to talk me out of it.

So I had it in my mind to have a natural birth, and I went through with it, even when my nurse asked several times what my pain was on a scale of 1-10, 10 being I'm going to slap you if I don't get pain meds right now! Oh, a 6, I'd say. Yeah, well if she would've asked me that when I was dilated at 9 cm, I might have slapped her--if I had the energy. She didn't ask after 7 cm because by then it was too late. Hindsight, I'm glad I didn't have the choice after 7 cm because in the end I accomplished what I was set out to do--have a drug-free delivery relying on God to get me through so I could hold the child He created inside of me. And, oh, did I need Him more than ever!

As I type this, Anna is asleep on my chest. Our favorite thing to do. I look down at her in utter amazement. She is my child, I am her Mommy. This is something I've been dreaming of since I was a little girl. Some girls dream of their wedding, I dreamt of being a mommy. God gave me my heart's desire. He blessed me with the most beautiful gift anyone could give. And this gift means so much more because of what I had to endure to receive it. The joy that is brought after the pain is even better. Joy comes in the morning and she sure did!

I think Anna really wanted to give her Mommy the best birthday present because even though I went into active labor (4 cm dilated) at 1 pm on Thursday, the 20th, she didn't arrive until the next morning, on my birthday. From the beginning we were told I was going to have a long labor. She was posterior, so it was going to be more challenging to get her out. I was progressing very slowly even though my contractions were strong and every 3-4 minutes. We arrived at the hospital at 4 am on Thursday morning and waited in an observation room for 4 hours. By the time 8 am rolled around, the doctor told me I'd only dilated one cm since being there and if I stay they'd put me on Pitocin in 6 hours to speed things along. She advised me to go home and rest if I was set on having a natural delivery and to come back when contractions were so strong I couldn't walk or talk through them. So we went home.

I tried to rest, it didn't work. Every contraction felt like a kick in the back and I knew this baby was coming today (or so I thought). This is when I realized Anna's placement of being posterior meant I was going to experience back labor. My only relief was to have a fist in my back upon every contraction. And Travis had the perfect fist for the job (by the end he said he had to put himself in crazy positions in order to meet this demand and his hand was sore and swollen). We were back in the hospital 2 hours later. And we waited, and waited, and waited for 4 hours to get into a labor and delivery room. Apparently everyone and their sister were having babies that day too. Throughout this time contractions were getting stronger and I knew it was time to begin my breathing and relaxing techniques I learned in birthing class. If not for those, I would've never gotten through childbirth.

They finally found us a room and from there things progressed quickly until I reached 7 cm...and then I stalled. In my birthing class I was told "transition" (7 cm-9 cm) would be the toughest part of the delivery but also the shortest. Well for me it was the longest. I endured "transition" for 7 hours! At that point Travis said I went into a "zone". I was somewhere else. I didn't talk that entire time and it was as if nothing else in the world mattered but focusing on getting through every contraction, knowing each time I was one step closer to meeting my baby girl. Music played in the background, and even though the 15 song playlist was on repeat, each word gave me new energy to keep going. The pain was like nothing I've ever felt before but so was God's presence. Around 10 pm, the doctors suggested breaking my water to speed things along. There were no guarantees but what was guaranteed was the contractions would get worse. I decided to do it. They immediately found out meconium (baby poop) was in my water and when Anna would finally come they'd have to rush her away to make sure she hadn't ingested any during labor. Travis was discouraged and upset. I was bound and determined to get this baby out asap. But this lasted another 4 hours before I was allowed to push. And when they said contractions would get stronger, oh boy, they went to a level I never want to feel again! It was very difficult at this point to stay in my "zone"and to continue to breath and relax through each contraction. I needed Travis to hold my hand and dig his fist in my back from the beginning of each contraction or I'd struggle to get through it. My body was beginning to naturally push and a few times I thought I was ready too.

 

It wasn't until 2 am, Friday morning, when it was finally time to push! When that happened my mind got a new sense of energy, however, my body was completely exhausted and pushing for an hour and a half did absolutely nothing. I could see the discouraged looks in Travis and my nurse's faces. How in the world was I going to possibly get this baby out? I couldn't even hold my legs up or keep my chin to my chest by myself. It wasn't until my nurse suggested a tug-of-war move when I finally understood the feeling, and that's when all the doctors and more nurses began pouring into the room. I felt like I was on a movie set. The room had been dark the entire time and all of a sudden spotlights were shinning on me and 10+ people were up in my face and other regions of my body. After a few pushes one of the doctors realized Anna's head was positioned sideways and not in the normal face towards my back position (and yet another reason why this labor took so long!) So for every push I had a doctor inside of me trying to reposition Anna's head, and Travis, along with four other nurses and doctors, holding my legs and pushing my chin to my chest. The best part of pushing was hearing everyone in that room cheer for me for every push. I imagined my family and friends in that room with me encouraging me, rooting me on, and truly excited for what was to come. I really believe these doctors and nurses were genuine in their praises. Some of these doctors we saw the morning before (one who had told me to go home and rest). So they knew what I had gone through, and I believe they wanted to see it through to the end. That final push came and I knew this was it. I didn't want to push anymore so I pushed longer than I had before and that was it! Out came Anna Jubilee at 4:23 am on September 21st after 2 and a half hours of pushing and on her Mommy's birthday. Smiles, laughs, and tears filled the room, even by some of the nurses who see this stuff everyday! They whisked her away just like they said they would to make sure she hadn't swallowed any poop and to clean her up. I heard her little cries and all I wanted to do was hold her (and go to sleep!) When they finally put her on my chest, with her big blue eyes looking up at me, I was in heaven. It was love at first sight. 

Although it was a long, very painful, and at times discouraging delivery Travis and I both felt God's presence in that room, with us, and with Anna the entire time. We saw Him in our nurses, one who attends our church and the other who cried for us at the end. We saw Him in our friends who sent encouraging texts with scriptures and prayers. We saw Him in Anna whose heartbeat stayed constant for the entire labor and delivery even when her head was stuck in my canal for two hours (nurses continually commented in awe of how happy she was). We saw Him in our team of doctors who cheered for me as if they had known me for years. We saw Him protecting our daughter from ingesting meconium and contracting Group Beta Strep. We found Him in our joy that came in the morning after the suffering the night before. 

Anna (gracious, merciful) Jubilee (joy, celebration): How gracious and merciful is He! He has brought us much joy and so much to celebrate!