Dear Anna,

Hey there, my sweetheart, my joy. It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and you’re supposed to be napping like your brother in the crib next to you. How he hasn’t come to yet bewilders me. I only say this because the clunking from your baby dolls hitting their mini cradle beside your bed is enough to wake even the deepest sleeper. But alas, his slumber hasn’t been interrupted. The noise must be a familiar occurrence to him as you avoiding sleep in the afternoon has become the norm and the phrase please read quietly has fallen on deaf ears.

You missed me peaking in at you a few minutes ago. My displeasure of you still awake left quickly as I took you in. You are breathtaking. I can’t believe you are mine, flesh of my flesh. I watched you ever so gently hug your baby and with the utmost care lay her down to sleep.

Then it struck me, why did you do it all so gracefully, so carefully, so lovingly?

And it’s because of me. Me.

Unqualified

Often I wonder why God placed us where we are. I get bogged down counting all the people I know who would be "better" suited to be missionaries in a refugee neighborhood compared to us. People who could love better, have more compassion, better pray-ers, people who actually speak the same language as their neighbors, who are more selfless and are willing to give all their time to building up this community. I'm discouraged after I sit and think about all those more "qualified".

And then I hear a voice that says, "But I called you, and you said 'Yes!".

But why?

Why were we called? Why was I called?

Looking Forward

I'm pretty sure this is the first year I've really taken inventory. Never have I ever really sat down and soaked in all the blessings from the past year and looked ahead to what the new year will bring. Last year I definitely didn't. Travis and I were recovering from the flu from Christmas and I was in the midst of mastitis while we rang in 2015, plus we had a fresh 2 1/2 month old who enjoyed being awake all hours of the night rather than sleeping like most human beings. Looking to the year ahead was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to get through the day.

This year, however, is different. Both our children sleep through the night now--Praise God from whom all blessings flow!--so I'm not just in survival mode. I actually want to look ahead this year. I'm able to get through most days with my head still on (picture a chicken running with its head chopped off. That was me a year ago), albeit I'm ready to crash at 8 pm, but that just comes with the territory of being a parent. I'm ready to take my walk with the Lord to a new level. I'm ready to be a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend of which I can be proud. But all these "things" I'm ready to be doesn't just come without effort. Inventory has to be taken. Reflection needs to take place. Looking back to look forward. Despite the sleepless nights and the being sick for two straight months last winter, 2015 served our little family well. I trust that 2016 could be even better. I only say this after I've looked back to look forward. Without reflection, sure, 2016 can still be a great year. But with it, I'm beginning the year with a clear and proactive mind. 

I'm so thankful a mentor recently handed me a list of questions to ask myself as the new year approaches. Questions to get me thinking how I desire this upcoming year to be different than the previous year. I'm excited to share these questions with you in the hopes they'll be an encouragement as you look forward to 2016 as well. I added a few of my answers to the questions below. Most I wanted to keep between the Lord and me. I challenge and encourage you to take some time in the next few days to really ponder over the words below. How can 2016 be different than 2015? 

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

Breathe. Just Breathe. (ok, Faith Hill, you can pipe down in my head, thanks.) Stop for a few seconds...minutes--if I'm blessed with that long--a day to take in the Lord. Pause and let Him envelope me. Breathe in all the good that is He. Really enjoy the laughter of my children. Find the lone flower in the midst of weeds. Gaze at the sunset. Revel in the stars above. Listen to nature. And realize all the above comes from Him alone. Take a breath. 

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

Stay disciplined. With chores, homeschooling, simplifying our lives and home, spending time in the word, working out. And how do I do that? I've come to the conclusion that having a morning routine gives me a better chance of actually staying disciplined. When I am disciplined it makes for everyone else's life to be disciplined. It makes for a happier family. It makes for a purposeful life. One in which you get things done and get to just be rather than just going through the motions to try and get by. 

Below is my current morning routine followed by 2016's morning routine:

-wake up whenever the kids wake up-so no "me" time

-forgo getting changed out of pjs and into real clothes

-maybe make bed but most likely will wait until mid morning (at least it's made by noon!)

-shuffle to the kitchen to make everyone breakfast and coffee; coffee, always coffee

-lounge on couch watching kids play until we have somewhere to be and then scramble to get everyone ready in a matter of 20 minutes. Always late. 

-wake up at 6:30 (hopefully before kids are up since they usually don't wake until 8)

-make bed

-put on bra. This is key.

-make coffee

-start a load of laundry (not everyday, just on days it's needed) and empty dishwasher

-make breakfast

-lounge on couch, get into the word, and just breathe before everyone wakes

So maybe the single most important thing I could do: keep to a morning routine. 

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

My prayer life. It's so weak. I'm so selfish. Confession time: I rarely pray as it is and when I do it's usually all about me and my desires and wishes and wants. So what will I do about it? Last night I was browsing through the website "Desiring God" when I came across this article: Reignite Your Prayer Life. It was perfect. I don't want a step-by-step "this is how you pray". I want something simple. I need something simple because I'm a stay-at-home mom who struggles to pray as it is. So this was perfect. John Piper suggests Pray Through the Bible, "open the bible, start reading it, and pause at every verse and turn it into a prayer". This allows me to dive into the Word and to pray in one setting. It also prevents me from saying the same old things about the same old things. I'm hopeful this is the beginning of a new conversation with Jesus. 

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

If you're where I was last December, without the slightest idea even of what year is coming to a close, IT IS OKAY. Even just a skim through this list might bring new perspective, might bring a little light to the end of the tunnel. Wherever you are in your life just looking forward to the task in front of us--not even to tomorrow--is all that Christ asks of us. So be encouraged, friend, we made it to a new year! 

**Happy 2016!**

__________________

These questions come from Don Whitney: Ten Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year.

The photos were taken by Carly Jones.

Michigan

Ludington, Michigan has always held a special place in Travis' heart, and in the last 11 years, my heart as well. This is where Travis' family has been vacationing for generations. This is where his love for fishing really started and hasn't let go. I always say if he wasn't in ministry he'd be fishing for a living. This vacation is where he lives out his favorite pastime twice a day for seven days straight. A fisherman's dream come true. And for me, it's less about the fishing; it's where Travis proposed to me to be his wife on the beach of the Lake 11 years ago. After 7 years of vacationing elsewhere we finally returned to a place that holds so many memories.

After almost three months Anna still talks about our "new house" in Michigan and the big fishy Pops caught. I forgot just how amazing Michigan is, so much so I really don't want to vacation anywhere else. Who needs the beach of Florida when the R&R we received on a secluded, peaceful lake was everything we needed?

The "Evergreen" house was the perfect home for us for that week in late August. It felt more like fall. After 90 degree temps for the previous three months I did not mind one bit that our vacation was filled with 60 degree temps and precipitation. It was almost more relaxing that it rained most days.

Every morning while Theo slept and Anna played quietly, the boys out fishing, I'd sip my coffee and sit and marvel at the serene Hamlin Lake just 50 yards from our living room window. 

It wasn't just the four of us in that little house by the lake. We also went with Travis' dad, better known as Pops, and Travis' brother and sis-in-law (I'd rather call her one of my best friends because an "-in law" doesn't do our relationship justice) Troy and Carly.

Pops surprised Anna with her first fishing pole. She loved that thing and picked up casting right away like a pro.

She was super excited to catch her first fish, if you can't tell.

She was so sweet with each fish she and Travis caught. She'd want to hold every one. She'd pet it, tell it "it's ok, you're ok", give it a little kiss, then throw it back in the water. Every time. I about died.

Travis was over the moon getting to share his love of fishing with his daughter. The fact that Anna took to it and loved it so much brought Travis so much joy (especially since his wife doesn't take to it at all). 

 

I know Travis can't wait to be able to share his love for fishing with Theo too but for that week he was Mommy's buddy. I didn't mind at all. Fun fact: Theo perfected his walking skills that week. What happened to my baby?! 

A few nights after we arrived Travis caught his biggest fish ever. A muskie that he says was at least 42 inches. Here's the thing, he and his dad weren't able to ever get it in the boat to be able to take a picture and measure it correctly. This fish still haunts him three months later. A few nights later, Travis' dad was out in the boat by himself and caught the sister of the one Travis caught. He wrestled with it on the line for 20 minutes before he finally was able to pull it in. He ran up to the house, struggling to hold it because of how heavy it was, so we could capture it on camera. Carly, Anna, and I were sitting on the couch in the living room when we saw Travis' dad rushing onto the porch. As soon as Anna saw it she exclaimed, "OH MY GOSH, That's a BIG FISH!" She was right, it was bigger than her! She looks so proud of her Pops in this photo :)

When the guys and Anna weren't fishing we slept, walked around the resort grounds, took boat rides, toured the little towns of Ludington and Pentwater, spent time on Lake Michigan's beach and walking to the lighthouse, ate ice cream at our favorite dive House of Flavors, and Anna experienced her first time playing putt-putt. She absolutely loved it!

I'm so thankful for the man holding my Littles there. He made this whole vacation possible. Anna and Theo love their Pops, for sure. 

And then there's these goofballs. I couldn't imagine having spent this vacation without Troy and Carly. It made all the times the guys were out fishing for their lives while the girls and Theo stayed in that little house that much better. 

The guys showing the lengths of their biggest fishes caught. Sorry Troy!

We can't stop talking about Michigan. It will live long in our hearts as one of our best vacations. We've already promised ourselves that we need to make it an annual trip, one that our children will grow up cherishing just like their father did and his mother did and her father did. 

Photo credit for a few of the above: Carly Jones