As of Late

The past two months have been crazy, to say the least. I feel like I'm finally wrapping my head around the fact that I'm a mother of two and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This is the first time I've really had the desire or energy to sit down and write a post. This blog has definitely been neglected. Sorry I'm not sorry. But really though, all you new mothers of more than one child, how do you have time to devote to your blog?! I give you props, ladies, because this mama is spent come bedtime and all I want to do is veg on the couch watching old Parks and Rec's episodes. I mean, who has the time to edit photos and write a post to go along with it when I have a toddler who won't nap most days, a baby who refuses to not be held 24/7, a house that still needs to be cleaned, plus all the hoopla that goes along with the holidays. Ain't nobody got time for that! I promise I'm in the process of writing Theo's birth story. It will be published one of these days! But until then you'll have to settle for pictures of Anna during our trip to Charleston this past weekend and little tidbits of our happenings with her since Theo came along.

Seriously, this girl. I think I'm more in love with her than before Theo graced our presence. I just can't get enough of her and all I want to do is cuddle with her. Her giggles, her tiny voice, her sweet spirit, and those eyes. They getchya. It's like when you look into them you're gazing into her soul. Those eyes are dangerous. She can get whatever she wants with those eyes. And mommy and daddy have to be very careful not to fall into her trap because she knows it. There are times when I'm disciplining her and I have to look away for fear of being sucked in. True story.

Then there are her "smarts". She knows her ABC's--or her ABCD's as she calls them; she can count to 10 successfully--11 is "robin" and then she repeats 14 until we help her along to 20; she sings all the time--her current favorites are Jingle Bells, "kinkle, kinkle, widdle stah", and the "la la" song aka The Fighter by Mumford and Sons; she repeats everything she hears including "gosh", "oh man!" and "what the heck!"--oops! Travis and I are working on our filter; she is super polite telling complete strangers "thank you" when they hold the door open for her (melts my heart and makes this Mama proud!), she'll even tell me "no thank you" when I ask her to throw away baby brother's diaper for me--how can I be mad at that?!

She's the complete opposite of me when it comes to her fearlessness and her desire for adventure. It's going to be the death of me. We moved her to her big girl bed at the beginning of November after we found out she could jump into and out of her crib. She would climb up onto her rocking chair that was next to the crib, climb on its arm, climb onto the railing of the crib and then balance on half an inch of wood before jumping in! Insane. And then somehow manage to climb out. We knew it was time. She's done great in her big girl bed. Thankfully it's not on a frame or we'd be hearing lots of bumps in the night. 

She is super strong willed. And that is exactly like me. We butt heads for sure and a lot of the times I have to catch myself before I lose my patience. I try to remember that she learns patience from me and when I want her to exercise patience I should be the one modeling it. We're working on "no" right now. I know she says it because I say it way too much--I'm working on that too. The times when I just want to throw my hands up and turn my head for fear of laughing is when she looks me in the eye and says "No way!" Obviously I've said those words way too many times (insert embarrassed hands-over-eyes emoji). 

She's been into all things baby after she got a doll for her first birthday last year but since Theo came along it's been like baby overload for her. We're finding Theo's diapers on baby dolls, I saw her "nursing" one of her dolls while she was supposed to be napping, she's constantly changing her dolls clothes, and then one day I caught her trying to change Theo's diaper. It was almost an epic disaster! After laying Theo in his bassinet I went to use the bathroom. I thought Anna and Theo would be ok by themselves for the few minutes I was gone, ha! Anna started saying "poopy, poopy, poopy". I knew Theo was poopy and I had planned on changing him when I was done using the bathroom myself so I just thought Anna was stating the obvious. I took my time washing my hands and checking myself in the mirror--first time that day--and Anna's still saying "poopy". Yeah, yeah, Anna, ok. I finally walk into my bedroom and there lies Theo with a huge smile, his pajamas unbuttoned, his diaper pulled down but thankfully all of its contents still intact, and Anna still saying "poopy"! I gasped and said "Oh, Anna! (ok, I could make a huge deal out of this and scar my child or I could handle this appropriately--I chose the latter) Thank you for helping change Theo's diaper! Mommy and Daddy are the only ones who can change his diaper. I think your babies need changed though too" and out the door she ran. Crisis averted!

I'm not sure the point of this post except that I just needed to write. I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like but getting to sit down and put some of our sweet memories with Anna on paper makes my heart feel happy. These early years are fleeting and the time goes by just way too fast. I want to bottle up every little thing my children do and, for Anna, say. I know it's not possible and I hate that. So until someone figures out a way to do that and lets all us parents know I'll continue to find small openings in my week where I can write out and capture our beautiful life together.

The last month

It's been a big blur. That's what they all say, right? The first month you barely remember and that is why you have more kids because you forget all that a newborn brings. I've been humbled yet again. I was humbled with Anna because I thought I had it all figured it out before she was even born because, you know, I was a nanny (huge eye roll). And this time, I just feel like my whole world is a tailspin. Out. Of. Control. Where have the days gone? or nights, rather? Where have my beloved nap times gone where I get everything done? Oh, they're being used for catching up on the sleep I didn't get the night before. Laundry is never-ending. I used to get by doing a load or two a week, now I'm doing a load everyday, which means baskets are laying around the house with unfolded clothes--clean, albeit, but unfolded and yet to be placed where they belong. Some days we're living out of baskets. I don't remember the last time I cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed, or dusted. I don't remember the last time my eyes haven't burned or randomly gone crossed out of sheer exhaustion. By the time I'm able to take a shower I wonder if it's even worth it knowing within the 15 minutes I'm out I'll be spit up on again. I've never changed so many poopy diapers. Literally, every diaper change has been a poopy one. Guys, I'm not joking. If I got a quarter for every poopy diaper I've changed...

Be real with me, you experienced this too. That's just how it is, right? I think God gave parents the newborn stage to bring us to our knees. This life is out of our control and having a newborn reminds us of that. Really just having kids does that too, but having a newborn is only the beginning. I also think the newborn stage brings light to how God looks at us. We're like the newborn: fragile, unable to care for ourselves, totally dependent on someone else. And God takes care of us, feeds us, cleans us, keeps us alive. And why? We don't do anything to deserve it. Because He loves us. A sacrificial, unconditional, incessant love. In all our helplessness God still looks at us with a perfect love. Despite all that I've been through the past month in adding another helpless being to our lives I can't help but look at my son and marvel at the vast amount of love I have for him. As caregiver over another I get the honor of experiencing just a glimpse of how God sees and takes care of me. And that's another way He brings me to my knees.

Along with the sleepless nights, the unceasing loads of laundry, the eye twitches, days without showers, the endless poopy diapers, the cries we don't know how to stop (by both baby and parent), we've also experienced so much joy, awe, love, and sighs of disbelief that we now have two beautiful, amazing children. We look at one another and wonder how did we get so lucky? We've also been blessed with a village surrounding us. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles aren't close but we have found "family" in our friends who have brought us meals almost every night since we arrived home from the hospital, who have taken Anna to play with their children so I could take a shower or catch up on some needed zzz's, and who have encouraged us that we're not alone in this crazy world of parenting two children. Blessings have overflown in the Jones' household, that is for sure.

I mean, just look at this little guy on his one month birthday:

A little note from Theo:

I weigh 11+ pounds (way to go, Mommy!) I'm a spitter upper who is now on Zantac for my acid reflux. It seems to be helping which makes me feel better. I know it makes Mommy and Daddy feel better too. I have great head control, I poop like it's my job, I smile when I'm gassy, and I can't live without my paci. I like baths, cuddling, tummy time, and co-sleeping (shhh, don't tell Dr. Brown). I dislike being alone, wearing hats, and being on my back. Mommy says I'm a tiny heartbreaker.

A Letter to My Children

Dear Anna Jubilee,

You're a big sister! How did that happen? How are you old enough, big enough to have someone younger and smaller than you in our little family. You are already the best big sister to your little brother. You are so sweet, so loving, and so helpful. I was nervous how you'd react when we brought your brother home. I was afraid you'd poke his eyes out, try to feed him your crackers, and I'd have to continually tell you to be more gentle. But not once since we've been home have I had to worry about you. You're so gentle with Theo, you love giving him kisses, you love to hold him (even if it is for 2.5 seconds), you love to sing him songs, and the first question you ask in the morning is "where's baby brother?". I'm so proud of you, sweet girl. You're growing up way too fast but I love seeing you learn new things and become more of girl and less of a baby. You're a sponge right now and I swear you're a genius (I may be biased). You love singing, especially to Mumford and Sons. You enjoy drawing and I think you've inherited your Daddy's artistic abilities. Your fearlessness is going to be the death of me (or just make me pass out every now and then when you come crying to me with a broken appendage). You'll always hold a special place in my heart being my first child and my first (maybe only) girl. I pray you'd continue to grow in wisdom and stature and that Christ would always be the center of your joy. I love you, my sweet Anna Jubilee.

Dear Theo Shepherd,

You're finally here! A week early nonetheless; and while we weren't quite ready for you (considering you didn't have a name for the first 12 hours of your life), I'm not complaining. You, sir, are one special guy. You have your sister head over heals in love with you, and your Mommy and Daddy are pretty smitten as well. As soon as you entered the world my first words were "I love him so much!", and after taking a good look at you I realized how much you resembled Anna. For a few days I felt like I was reliving two years ago. But now, after two weeks, you're beginning to look less and less like your big sister and you're becoming your own person. I love it. Your eyes are starting to lighten, I can't wait to see what color they'll finally settle on. Will they stay blue like your Daddy's or turn brown like your sister's or will they change to a green like mine? Your cheeks are starting to fill out and become more and more kissable. You're still so fuzzy and soft and your sweet baby scent takes my breath away every time (or maybe that's all the poopy diapers!) You're always making noises and they are the funniest. The other night, I swear, Predator took over my son. One minute you sound like an alien, the next you sound like a velociraptor. I wished for a cuddly baby, and boy, did I get one! You won't let me put you down for a second. It makes for long nights since you don't sleep well if you're not on mine or your Daddy's chest. But that's ok. We can't stay upset for long because we just look at you and our hearts melt all over again. You have added so much to our little family. I already forget what life was like without you (more sleep, that's for sure!). I pray you would always know the love of the Father and that as you grow you would look to Him in all things. I love you, my precious Theo Shepherd.

Love,

Mommy

What's in a name, really?

It's been our trend to keep our lips sealed when it comes to naming our children. Anna Jubilee was kept a secret until she arrived and so will this little guy's. Anna's name was easy, it was picked out long before I even knew I was having a girl. However, this time around it's much more difficult. Boy names are hard! We didn't have a name picked if Anna was a boy. And this time we've been back and forth between two. We had one name for a while; the second name wasn't even a question until one day it was. And now weeks or maybe even days before our sweet baby boy arrives we still have yet to pin down which name we're going to go with! If you know anything about Travis and me then you know this just won't work. We can't go to the hospital still in doubt. We can't wait until he comes out of me and see what he looks like before we decide. We're not those kind of people. And it's stressing both of us out! We keep asking ourselves which name we'd regret the most if we decided not to use "that" name and we can't even decide on that! Maybe this wouldn't be so difficult if we knew for sure we want more children but two may be it for the Joneses. We want to meet our little guy with everything in our hearts but not knowing his name is making it ok that he still isn't here just yet. 

He's definitely bigger than this pumpkin but we didn't have anything larger and
I couldn't resist not including one this week!

How far along? 38 Weeks and 2 Days 

How big is baby? the size of a pumpkin--how fitting for this month! He may have an inch of hair already, which if the old wive's tale about the more heartburn the more hair then I believe it!

Total weight gain: 38 pounds

Maternity clothes? only when I'm in public trying to look nice, otherwise it's gym shorts, leggings, tshirts and tank tops

Sleep: I'm not holding my breath that'll it get any better until after baby boy is like 6 months old and is sleeping through the night. 

Best moment this week: spending the weekend at Lake Norman with my loves and good friends. It was the perfect relaxing way to spend one of our final weekends before Juice Drop arrives. 

Miss Anything? I know I say this every other week but again it's wine. 

Movement: still quite a bit and I realized why. Juice Drop is pretty much posterior (not an optimal birthing position) and so I feel a lot of his kicks and punches still. This is making me nervous since Anna was posterior and I had horrible back labor and it was very long. I was really hoping Juice Drop's labor would be different. Here's to being on my hands and knees for the next few weeks in order to encourage him to flip!

Food cravings: junk, junk, and anything junk

Gender: baby boy!

Labor Signs: braxton hicks, pelvic pressure

Symptoms: I've started to waddle! contractions, peeing all the time, tired, out of breath, rib and back pain, and my favorite: baby kicks!

Belly Button in or out? out

Happy or Moody most of the time: pretty happy! 

Looking forward to: a big bowl of the salted caramel gelato I got at Trader Joe's today. Told you I've been craving junk! But it's from Trader Joe's so it's healthy, right? ;)