A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I was on my way to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning. Contractions were increasing in pain and in duration. I thought this was for real.

A year ago today I was sent home because I was only dilated 2 cm and they said come back when you're at 4 cm. Oh, ok, so am I the one to check that? They recanted and said come back when you can't walk or talk through your contractions. Ok, much easier to gage!

A year ago today Travis and I walked my neighborhood up and down for an hour until I was bending over during my 5 minutes apart contractions. During our time back at home this was also when I realized the only relief to my pain was a fist lodged into my lower back. Back labor reared its ugly head.

A year ago today I went back to the hospital after only a few hours of being away. I said this is it and I'm not going back home! They said fine. They hooked me up to an ultrasound monitor and I had to wait for a labor and delivery room for 3 hours!

A year ago today my sister and my mother-in-law joined us. My sister took pictures throughout labor and delivery, lodged her fist in my back and held my hand when Travis needed a break, and my mother-in-law was very supportive during the pushing (but that didn't come until the next day).

A year ago today a popsicle made me vomit. Thank God for the IV! Otherwise I would've be dehydrated. Ain't nobody got time for that when you're trying to push out a baby!

A year ago today I wasn't progressing from 7 cm to 10 cm quick enough. I spent 7 hours in transition (the worst of labor) and it was about half way through those 7 hours when they broke my water. Then the pain really came. My body was pushing for itself but I still had to wait another 2 hours before I reached 10 cm and they allowed me to push.

A year ago today, right before midnight, I realized our baby girl was going to share a birthday with me. She had an entire day to come, an entire day we were ready for her, an entire I was ready for her, an entire day I was in labor, but God decided to wait until my birthday to give me the best gift, our precious, adorable, beautiful, silly, playful, lovable, sweet Anna Jubilee.

Happy Birthday Eve, Anna Jubilee! Mommy and Daddy love you more than you'll ever know. Having you on my birthday was the best gift I could've ever received and this day will always be a special one. It is an honor to share this day with you, my Joy.

Mornings

The two things that have turned my mornings around:

1. I've never been a morning person. I love the idea of sleeping in, getting out of bed without an alarm, snuggling up with blankets until the sun has long been up for a few hours. The idea of waking up before the sun rises makes me want to vomit. No joke. I've seen enough sunrises growing up I think I'm good for the rest of my life, thank you. However, Anna's schedule is a-changing yet again and now we're down to one nap from two. When she was taking two naps I'd spend the first nap doing chores around the house and during the second I'd spend some time with Jesus, re-centering myself, meditating, praying, journaling, reading, whathaveyou. With this change Anna has also started to sleep in a little later. She wakes around 5:30-6 am, I feed her, then she falls back asleep until 7 or 8. The past few weeks have been glorious because I've gotten to go back to sleep too until she wakes up again! I realized the other day though how unproductive and tired I feel throughout the day when I sleep in. Sleeping in until 8 means I get a late start to my day. And by the time her nap rolls around I'm so exhausted from getting interrupted sleep I'd rather nap too than do my chores, spend time with Jesus, or anything else. The other day I had an epiphany a crazy thought, what if I stayed up after I put her back to sleep at 5:30?! Seriously, a crazy thought and something I usually would refuse to do. However, I realized this is exactly what I need to do to give me time to get energized before Anna wakes. I tried it two days ago and it was truly amazing. I was able to get a shower without a screaming baby in her exersaucer, do my hair, brush my teeth, put on make up, eat breakfast, and spend time with God and a cup of coffee all before Anna was up! I felt like a new mom, a mom who was ready to take on the day with an almost one year old. Plus, instead of hurrying to get out the door and thus making us late for church, we were actually early to church for the first time in, oh, ever! Yesterday I went back to sleep after feeding Anna because I had a late night before (did I honestly think I could do it two days in a row? Pssh!) and I wasn't ready for my day until 10 when if I would've gotten an early start I would've been out the door to the grocery store by 8. This morning I did it. I got up, stayed up, took a nice, long, hot shower, ate breakfast, sipped my coffee, and journaled. It was another glorious morning. So I'm hoping I can keep this up. The occasional going back to sleep is bound to happen but I'm going to try hard to give myself that time in the morning because not only do I need it, Anna needs me to have that time too so I can be the best mother for her.

2. This

We purchased a screen for our doorway. This was the best 20 bucks we've spent in a long time, seriously. I've been wanting a screen door for the longest time because our living room gets so dark, our front window doesn't open, and what's better than the current season's breeze coming through your home? We went to look for doors at Home Depot and when we realized they were out of our price range we began to walk away defeated. As we walked out of the door section we saw a box full of screens and got super excited because we knew it'd be perfect for our front door! Plus it was only 20 bucks and we had a gift card for that amount! So we spend our mornings after Anna wakes up sipping some more coffee (because I've been up since 5:30, remember?), enjoying the breeze, kids at school, and the occasional visit from our little neighbor and Anna's bff, Sheila.

        

Your Love has Ravished My Heart

Photo Credit: Stefanie Vinsel

You see that man right there? Holding my sweet baby girl? Yeah, he's captured my heart. Almost 13 years ago to be exact. There is no one else on earth I can be myself around like this guy. I could type every single cliche out there but seriously no one gets me like he does. His birthday was September 3rd and it came and went without a post on his behalf. So this is for him.

Without getting all sappy, (because let's face it, he'd, and you'd, rather me tell him in person than on a blog post) I'm going to share a story with you that made me fall in love with him all over again. It happens often but this one just knocked my socks clear off!

Anna was just shy of two weeks old, I was still very hormonal so anything and everything made me cry. And when I say cry, it was always the ugly cry; sobs, nose running, tears flying, yep, that was me. But this moment, it would've made any woman shed a tear. I was laying in bed resting, thinking Anna was next to me. Travis was preparing a worship set for a worship gathering we were going to have with our friends later that week. He was sitting at his computer not even two feet from where I lay. I look up and notice he has Anna cradled in his arms while singing the song he's had on repeat for the past hour. The words of the song, the dim lighting of the room, the husband, the baby, it was a perfect storm for my heart to break into a million pieces. Be still, my heart! This wife and mama can't take it! I watched in amazement as my husband sang the words to our baby girl. I know the words were written with our Heavenly Father in mind but I couldn't help but think Travis was singing those words to his daughter as well. Even more I couldn't help but think about our own Heavenly Father singing those words over his children as my husband sang those words over his daughter. What a beautiful display of the Father's love not even two feet from me. I saw the Father in Travis at that moment, and let me tell you, nothing makes you fall in love more than when you see the Father through your husband. Read the lyrics below and tell me your heart wouldn't just melt to the floor as well:

Closer by Amanda Cook, sung by Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger 

Your love has ravished my heart

And taken me over, taken me over

And all I want is to be

With You forever, with You forever

Pull me a little closer

Take me a little deeper

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

‘Cause Your love is so much sweeter

Than anything I’ve tasted

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

And if the lyrics don't do it justice here's the music video:

Yeah, crying over here. Who else? Maybe it's the song, maybe it's the memory of that special day, maybe it's the fact that Anna turns one in 11 days! I'm holding that baby a little tighter this last week and a half hoping the days drag on! High hopes, I know but a mama can dream, right? ;)

Full House

"Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paper boy, the evening tv..."

No, not that Full House!

I'm talking about the full house that we've been experiencing for the past year and a half. We've been so blessed to have tons of kids in our neighborhood. Of the 20 plus buildings in our complex I cannot think of one home that doesn't have at least one child living in it; and some nights it feels like we have the whole neighborhood in our tiny apartment. Laughter, screams, drawing sharks and sting rays from the "You Can Draw" book, coloring and cutting hearts to be placed amongst all the others on our fridge, La La Loopsy (Thank you Uncle Brad, Aunt Monica, and Cousin Sydney for your wonderful hand-me-down! It's sure getting a ton of use!), Anna's baby toys. Everyday I can count on a visitor to come knocking asking to play with Anna. Melts this Mama's heart! But then I realize all he really wants to do is play with Anna's toys and draw sharks. It's okay though, Anna doesn't mind and I don't either. Anna loves having other kids over. I've been wondering if I would need to place Anna in preschool in a few years so she can get the social interaction but I'm realizing as she gets older and is interacting with our neighbors that she's getting "preschool" in her own living room! She hears the kids running and screaming outside and she immediately goes to the window to see who's out there. She tries talking to them and bangs on the window to get their attention. And most of the time the kids will run up to the window talking back to Anna, trying to find and look at me with eyes that say "can we please come in and play with Anna?" Who can say "no" to that? I definitely have my moments where I long for peace and quiet, and thankfully now that the kids are back in school I get that time during the day but the best part of all of our day is when our door is open and the kids are flowing in and out.

Our next door neighbor has a daughter who is one week younger than Anna. Anna LOVES Sheila! Every time they see each other they both scream and start talking to each other. They have their own language, I swear. A few weeks ago Anna leaned toward Sheila and gave her a big kiss and three hugs. Oh, my heart fell out of my chest right there.

Daykulay, who comes over to play with Anna's toys and draw sharks is behind the girls. See, playing with Anna's toys. 

Hey there, friend, follow me, I know a lot about these parts.

Baby kisses!!!

Daykulay's little sister, Mary, is just precious and loves to play with Anna's toys too!

Seriously, I can't think of another neighborhood I'd rather live in during this time in our lives...or really any time, for that matter! 

Sorry for putting that song in your head. It's now in mine too! ;)