I've been emotional lately. I stop myself before tears stream down my face because, really, who has the time? Big events are coming my way, ready or not.
It all started with Theo walking. WALKING! Yes, I said walking. Who does he think he is? He was barely 10 months old when he decided it was time, and I could do nothing to stop him. In the past few weeks I've started to wonder where my baby went. I feel like I've missed something. Have I taken enough pictures and video? Did I cherish the time when he wasn't mobile or when he was just crawling? Am I reading and singing enough to him? I never EVER in a million quadrillion years thought I'd say this but I'm actually enjoying his middle of the night feed. While most babies his age are sleeping 7am-7pm (and when I say most I mean only a handful) my little guy still enjoys a nightly meal around 3 am. I should be upset, right? I mean, he's old enough to cry it out and sleep through the night, but that time for us together is the only thing I feel still makes him a baby and I'm holding on tight to that one. He'll be one in less than a month and a half. I feel like life has gotten a whole lot faster with him around. When Anna turned one it was definitely a fast year but this past year, where did it go?! We're closer to him being a toddler and no longer an infant and I don't know if I can handle that right now. Even though he's constantly on the move and getting into and climbing everything he is still a big mama's boy and loves cuddling and giving open mouth kisses, and I wouldn't mind if it stayed that way for a very long time.
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| Be still my heart...and time. |
Anna will be three in less than two weeks. Let me just say there is such thing as a "three-eenager" because we got one. We've got ourselves a sassy, strong willed, little princess. I
never thought I'd have one. Let me just stop myself right there. I know my mom is rolling on the floor laughing as she reads this because that is exactly what she had in me. My former 3 year old self has come back to haunt me through my daughter. She's constantly singing, playing in her own world, reserved in crowds but jumping off the walls in her own home, loves everything pink and sparkly and super girly but loves her cowboy boots and fishing with her Daddy. Dresses for days, I mean all.day.e'ry.day. She didn't wear a pair of shorts one day this summer. And if she wasn't wearing a dress, she was wearing pants
with her tutu over them. Since I'm dealing with a mini-me I've decided to chill out a bit. The control freak in me wants to control the control freak in her and I have a feeling I'm going to lose. So I've decided to let go and let her have her fun. And I'm having more fun too.
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| These days are fleeting. I so wish they'd just slow down. |
On the same day Anna turns three I will turn 30. Thirty. I think I'm somewhat in denial because I'm not experiencing a quarter life crisis like I feel most people do. I'm actually totally okay with it. Or maybe I just haven't had time to really think about what that means. Thirty. Maybe it's because I'm exactly where I wanted to be at thirty. I love my life. Jesus is at my center. My husband and I have a great marriage. I have two beautiful children who bring me so much joy. I have wonderful friends who bring laughter to my soul. My extended family, while far, we still see each other frequently and I cherish those times. I love where we live and can't imagine having different neighbors that we do now. I'm excited to see what this next decade brings. Thirty, you're looking good and I don't care who knows it!
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| Grays are shining through my hair but I don't care! It's a sign of wisdom, right? ;) |
As the next few months fly by I hope I can stop for a few minutes and cherish all that is around me. As Theo begins to talk and Anna learns new steps in her ballet class and I enter a new age bracket I hope the small moments don't get away from me and I can see the beauty in life of simply being present.
